Yoked

revenge is in and of it itself
a beautiful lie and an ugly truth
and in realizing this
i know now
i loved you too much to hurt you
the way i thought that you deserved
i used to wonder how you slept at night
until i realized why i couldn't
and why you didn't
just repeated these transgressions
to numb a fractured reality
oblivious to the moment at which
karma reversed the hourglass
to replay the past
and thrust you into a darkness
you wouldn't know that you were in
until you search for my light
only to watch it dim
best served cold


Roni I'naru'

Mute Translation

saw a guy
conduct an orchestra
play a violin
do the funky chicken
mouth as best as he could
that today is his birthday
open his arms to the sky
bring them back to his chest
say thank you
diddy bop
get a running start
then jump off of the bus
forgetting his bike
but i bet this is still the best day of his life


-Roni I'naru'

Shadow of Bok

Bok was one of 23 schools chosen by the Philadelphia School Board and the School Reform Commission to  close, merging thousands of students into classes elsewhere, already at capacity; and hundreds of teachers and administrators out of work. This decision was an effort, a shameless one, to climb out of a deficit of over $300 million. Most students haven't yet grasped what's happening while others, including alumni and staff, are solemn over the troubled school's closing.

students haunt hallways
and staircases
eyes searching beyond camera lenses
for faces
that'd seek their story
they said we couldn't ask
though it's already known
this used to be their playground
A League of Their Own
badges and lanyards
no one seemed to care
that next year
would've been senior year
they'd have carried this alma mater
the colors
proudly
pep rallies
chant loudly
in tune to an orchestra
resounding
vibrating the foundation
years from now
who will know what was created
or what was in the making?
blueprints toward college admission
Le Bok Fin's newest chef master in the kitchen
$300 million
toward a new prison?
searching for advocates
not the most powerful pacifists
supporting abandonment
who knew they'd take our education
and start cashing in
on an auction block with an inmate
but in light of such mistake
any one of us could take his place
become another number
and let such be the case
all we needed was a fighting chance
bot a fucking circumstance
they'll have so many of us over there
we'll start pouring out the door
in yet another school
decrepit and worn
until rain's pouring through the roof
and we're falling through the floor
and if performance was poor
let it show that attitude reflected leadership
that bright future
didn't believe in it
pleaded it
but the village wasn't seeing it
and the concerned became fewer
for every finger pointed at each other
there were three pointed back at each accuser
all of us
christian, muslim, and the not so spiritual
were waiting for miracles

made in the interior of collapsing stars
pushed toward the exterior
leave the door ajar
for one last look at the journey thus far
turn the page
and realize that this is not the end


-Sherone I'naru'

Parked in the Fast Lane

sometimes i have not the language to heal
i speak in Kahlo and smoke
and no one can interpret this struggle
can't beat it
join it
give it a name and suffer from it
bleed from it
or for it
until you find a distraction
keep her busy
until she's dizzy
numb it
kiss me
make a mark
miss me
aim
hit me
spark it
pour it
dance and
cure it


-Roni I'naru'

Charred

I would imagine wonderland

and position him there

He is a staple to such happy existence 

One day he will learn 

One day he will see

And he'll say

Dear love, 

You were the only one I ever needed

Thank you for needing me too

One day these things will occur

and the suffering will be just

Or maybe they won't

And I'll meet a reason to burn the blueprint

And construct new structures

We needed each other for reasons unbeknown to us

And those watching

We were supposed to be messy

And go on as if that day never happened
21 alibis above sea level

As though I never lost my mind

As if holding on to you 

Was holding on to my last morsel of sanity

You stole my dreams right from beneath me

And told me that you weren't afraid of what was coming to you

That you were ready for karma

While I ran from fate

And we exist in between

More honestly, less jealously 

Completely out of control 

And without purpose

But just enough to

Calm heartache

Until it flares up again

-Roni I'naru

Magik

DAWN

Awaken the man dreaming of you

Remind him that you are here

Waiting for his hands to bless your skin

His kiss to make your heart race

His thrust to give you life

Give him a thousand reasons to never sleep again

Undress and give him one thousand more

Sometimes I try to be still, for a second

And just look at you

Though I don't see you

I see a little girl with my cheekbones and your eyes

Or a boy who will talk our ears off

I see journeys to the end of the earth

I see more confusing discussions of politics, hanging stockings, wondering why we pretend to believe in this stuff

OVERCAST

I wish that there was something that I could do 

to help clear the fog between

What we see before each other

You have become a part of me

And I struggle to fathom what life is

Without you

Without knowing it

You've mastered what it takes to hurt me

And I get it

You're a man

You don't have what it takes to love me

That you try is all that I need

It's developed into a fear of psychics

They might tell me that you aren't meant for me

Let's agree that you're what I need right now

I'm frightened that the first step without you means falling

I want you to catch me

I want you to hold me 

RAIN

You threw me to the wolves

And I fucked each one 

Lost  without you 

Vultures find me

I let them have what they see

I broke skin until life streamed down my limb

Steel pierced through me

But I could still feel you

You haunt this woman

And I love you forever

I thought you protected me

But you were the monster

FOG

I'll be the reason he goes to confession

And repent for every orgasm we lost count of

I have burned my bridges to heaven

I'm going to fuck until I forget you

And won't apologize for what I've done

I am worse than numb

A stranger to my own reflection

Or have finally found myself

I have become the woman my mother protected me from

And I am the cause of my fathers heartache

I don't care

Walk around, just step over this mess

Watch the trash burn

Don't try to put me out just because you see me breathing

There are no signs of life

Who I am is self-inflicted

Convicted

Of living without restriction

Let my hair down and exist in these mistakes

Though

The only thing I've ever done wrong

Was fall in love

Low precipitation

-Roni I'naru