Roni I'naru

Load It Cock It Aim and Love

2012-02-02T20:04:00.006-05:00

Directed by fear,
love can be as frightening as it is beautiful;
wonderful beyond anything I've ever wondered.
and if you're fortunate enough to survive such spell
you should thank your lucky stars.
Running into what we run from
Questioning each moment
and each movement
Solve every puzzle with enough to get you through the night
Awake in the morning thinking of new ways to exist wiser
than enigmas we consider romance.
Riddled for what we can put on paper
or in photos
and in bank accounts
and raise our children with
something labeled kindred
willing to lose yourself
as long as he says I love you
and she will separate beneath you
to give life to
matrimony.

-Roni I'naru

Consonants and Adlibs

2011-08-02T04:11:00.002-05:00

[(Soma)tic Poetry Workshop Poem #3]

1.
Cook gravy 'til spectacular thoughts sizzle
skating from the burlesque mother.

2.
Jack, the druglord, operates zoloft & rum
Real zany afterthoughts.
Oooo, deadly.

Morbid Jack, clippity quack,
meanders northly southern
for butter steaks & oranges.

-Roni I'naru

Thoughts of Tokophobia While Facing a Trash Can

2011-08-02T03:19:00.001-05:00

[(Soma)tic Poetry Workshop Poem #2]

Yesterdays collect
at the bottom of the receptacle.
There will be someone
to gather these bad decisions and
put them where
we won't mind.
But what we can not
throw away,
we must hold on to
and name these little regrets
and be proud of them
because shame is embarrassing.

-Roni I'naru

A Cute Angle

2011-08-02T03:15:00.001-05:00

[(Soma)tic Poetry Workshop Poem #1]

You won't get the shot.
Put the camera away.
Life is happening.

-Roni I'naru

You're Picking, Again

2011-08-02T01:37:00.004-05:00

I am your subject
and I wear that well.
Not for pretension
but for real.
In a little over your head,
I must say
and your voice has
become a series of clicks and beeps.
So much so
that I've whittled the thought of you
into something I could stomach.
You put a bad taste in my mouth, kid.
Now drop and give me a break.
Better yet, take this poem
and shove it in your pie hole
because that train left the station
decades ago.
Every now and then
when the air is still
and the clouds reveal a cornflower moon,
I have to grab my broom and shoo away
the righteous.
Your ISBN doesn't entitle you to a soapbox.
It just means that
like the rest of us
you have something to say.

-Roni I'naru

Trumpet

2011-07-25T05:48:00.001-05:00

What I could not say
All that I had to hold in
Are the words I sing

-Roni I'naru

Caelum

2011-01-30T07:21:00.004-05:00

i love the sky prior to sunrise
when it's cerulean blue
and everything is calm
and quiet
i love the way the streets are empty
and nothing
and no one is about the sidewalk
i love how crisp the air is
how fresh is smells
unpolluted
overwhelming
i love the peace that comes over me
that i could not refuse
because i didn't have a chance to
how sincere the silence is
and wondering is this what it's like to believe in God
is this how i know She exists
i love that i am not sleeping this moment away
that i am awake right now
alive
and happy, simultaneously
what i feel is something i've only read about

and this must be what love feels like

and i love how i feel

-Roni I'naru

Carpe Diem

2010-09-22T22:50:00.005-05:00

Trying, striving, searching, finding
feeling, listening,
sun rays glistening,
hoping for better things
effort withering
by sunset
waiting until everyone leaves to light my cigarette
burning frustration with each drag
watching yesterday become ash.

-Roni I'naru

Shhhhhh...

2010-08-24T07:28:00.007-05:00

Magically,
they can hear me before I've opened my mouth to speak.
Somehow knowing what I'll say
and already disagreeing.
Though, I can't resist the urge to insist that they've got me all wrong.
Shit-
I wonder how long this will take;
couldn't help but speak my mind
especially at the wrong time,
and if it didn't seem so childish I bet they'd cover their ears,
screaming gibberish to drown the sound of my conscious stream.
Heaven forbid I muddy the water.
And I can not be sorry,
I can't be sorry for this pretend sin.
I can still feel pieces of earth hit the same places of the first stones thrown,
but I refuse to run.
You ought to see me bleed,
to see a human.
Somewhere among the angry mob is another human being, too.

-Roni I'naru

Miss Lead

2010-03-13T20:11:00.003-05:00

Story of my life
Some chick thinks I'm into her
When I'm really not

-Roni I'naru

Powder

2009-06-13T03:07:00.004-05:00

Tell me what she does in seconds flat
what I spent two years figuring out
What does she whisper in your ear
that I can't get across loud & clear
Wonder what makes you leave my warmth for her cold
Dodge me by day to chase her at night
She fills your senses with the senseless
and you remain at attention
Watching you brave dangerous streets to find her
and she waits for you under the darkest of corners under the El
on littered concrete
Cheap but desirable
You gravitate toward her and I'd hope my little voice in your ear would interject
But you take her and devour her quickly
And slowly tread home to my fury
And I wish that we never happened
And I swear that I'd do anything to never have met you
And I'd give my left arm to rewind time
Screaming regrets and bets and threats and yet
he can't come clean
In the middle of crying I ask what's her name
After denying, he utters,
cocaine.

-Roni I'naru

Unnatural Born

2007-05-30T10:33:00.006-05:00

I am the first and second of the sixth and the first
The daughter of Raine and Art
Grandchild of Yvonne and Jacinta
Born on the 28th evening of the 1,985th October
to the tribes of Judah and Ephraim
to stand tall in my femininity on the shoulders of my cacique ancestresses
21 years later
I fell in love with the lie
And the truth could barely recall my existence
Sat in the corner with growth and got high of it's offering
Rocked back and forth in the dim light, praying for contrasts
that I'd be wrong
If love always became failure, was I born to be fooled?
And to learn from that,
to warn future fools
to dogde my fears, and call that wisdom.
Was I born to be cared about
to then change minds
to then live for weeks in the fog
then to discover the once nonexistent
and then exist for the rest of my life validating my ignorance with wounds?
Was I born to save myself for the mythical husband
who works the 9-5
and comes home to eat my pollo frito at the head of the table
and lay with him at night
spooning with the archetype
while he's dreaming of his own?
Was I born to walk this plank
basquing in the rays coming through the stainglass windows
bouncing off my sequins
giving the impression that I've reached womanhood
while my brothers look at me
hoping for the best and planning for the worst?
Was I born only to sit pretty before his company,
shit out his children,
swallow his infedelity with a grain of salt and a pinch of oh well and a little nevermind
& iron my pleats & his
& wash my socks & his
& make my sandwich & his
& wipe my crumbs & his
at this pivotal point, where shit
means nothing and everything
I've been pushed into this black hole of floating
grandfather clocks and ottomans
So I'm born to dare-
and kiss passionately
and rest my legs on his shoulders
while we pretend to be so focused
and my thoughts don't wander
with the sweat streaming down my body
That if all is fair in love and war
Then as much as I deserve to be loved, I must stomach the fall.

-Roni I'naru

Pearl of the Universe

2007-05-30T10:28:00.003-05:00

I'm in flight
Traveling lightyears into the 100 watt shining through my digits
I'm floating atop a golden Amazon River on my back
without having left this mattress
I'm walking on indigo skies
creating stars wherever my feet land
Scraped the bottom of the sea for hydration
Dug through soil and sod for growth
This world is but a washed up oyster
I've starved for universal tranquility

-Roni I'naru

Carcinogen

2007-05-28T09:27:00.003-05:00

The experts inquire about the relationship between a woman and her father
As justification for her fight or flight response to the behavior
Of a man who loves in the same fashion he does his mother.
Nix the hypothesis, let my love stay out of the laboratory.
They say french fries boosts stamina
and causes cancer.
They say red wine makes for a healthy heart
and causes cancer.
They say chocolate helps blood flow
and causes cancer.
Keep my love out of the lab before I find out it causes cancer, too.
Could it be the reason they prefer me on a balanced diet?

-Roni I'naru

Photomenthesis

2007-05-28T09:25:00.001-05:00

Love has robbed of me
That which was detrimental
So that now I breathe

-Roni I'naru

Karma?

2007-05-28T09:17:00.004-05:00

I must have broken homes
or went outside my marriage.
I must have murdered
or smuggled illegals.
I must have lied and cheated.

I must have been a bully
or some kind of asshole.
I must have taunted and violated.
I must have smiled in a million faces
and talked behind every back.

My past life must be one of extreme offenses
To make this one extremely offensive
I don't know everything but I'm extremely attentive
To the heartache after my hearts suspencion
I've got to be cursed
There must be an oil, some dust, and candle to burn.
Are disappointments just or is it just my turn?

-Roni I'naru

Saturday Morning at the Chinese Store

2007-05-28T09:16:00.003-05:00

Nickel bags and Kit Kats
Was like smelling the coffee
I was in the hood

-Roni I'naru

Lost Intent

2007-05-28T09:14:00.007-05:00

Once heart shaped, I see
Abandoned remnants of love
Damaged but vibrant

Roni I'naru

Overanalyzed Abstract (Bullshit 101)

2007-05-28T09:14:00.006-05:00

BACK OF THE CLASS:
Philosophical ponderers immersed in cynical thought
I'm about to force my own fucking head into a wall if someone doesn't
say something with a point already.
What's with this class and it's never-ending unclear questioning?

FRONT OF THE CLASS:
Legs shaking
Hands waving
Call on me, professor, for I am about to DIE!
Because I have something to say so profound to me
that it'll be so profound to you
And after I take a good...solid...hearty...ninety seconds to inquire common sense
we will all leave this room
with our understanding at an all time depth
And later I'll blog this conversation so my
friends will feel just how fascinating this moment is.
And when people see me on the street
they remember that I was the smart one.

-Roni I'naru

(e)Motionless

2007-05-28T09:13:00.002-05:00

He
Still loves me
Still is with her
Still feeds my harbored fantasy
Still sounds comforting
Still is all the way over there
Still says the things he used to say to me
Still says the same to her

Still calling
Still gasing up
Still not seeing
Still force-feeling
Still misleading
Still swindling
Still leaving stagnant chances of life with
Me.

-Roni I'naru

2,007th

2007-05-28T09:10:00.002-05:00

Frigid currents awaken
a heart content in it's slumber
and a spirit on the edge of that which has yet to be visited

Jazz vocalists seranade the still room
in unison with the rhythm of meditated breaths
over the screams of well wishes upon the street

With fingers tightly intertwined
and eyes to the sky
I not only see the light, I shine it

-Roni I'naru

5th Syllable Ballot

2007-05-28T09:09:00.001-05:00

They tell me to vote
Because it's my voice
Did they not hear me
the last time I spoke?
Were they too caught up
Cutting ribbon and
Kissing babies and
Selling lemonade
Pretending to care?

They tell me to vote
Because it's my voice
And my ancestors
Died so that I may
And how dare I not
Especially when
Celebrities came
In crafty lil' shirts
That say vote or die?

They tell me to vote
Because it's my voice
There's a candidate
In a lens somewhere
Tired of smiling
Mentally quitting
Secretly wishing
That they never ran
in the first damn place

They tell me to vote
Because it's my voice
Like the one you hear
Is inaudible
Yet We, The People
are a little stumped
The ballot's been cast
Once we have spoken
Were we ever heard?

-Roni I'naru

Sweaty Palms (Tri-ku)

2007-05-28T07:16:00.001-05:00

As if we combined
When his fingers slid through mine
We solidified

Looking in my eyes
He searched for something to feel
His pupils hunting

Then my own darkened
Shuting down his invasion
Giving back his rib

-Roni I'naru